I find moms (and especially dads) don't always understand how much pressure there is planning a wedding these days. The American wedding market has changed drastically in one generation. First it was the wedding magazines, then blogs, and now Pinterest and Instagram have taken it to a whole new level. The pressure keeps mounting and then, Noooooooooo! Did you see the rain forecast?!? I've seen a lot of brides crack under pressure and who can blame them.

Here are a few tips I think all wedding planners can agree on:

Mistake 1: Wind is the Silent Assassin— There’s an App for That

Many of my clients are checking the rain forecast every hour on the hour leading up to their wedding. But here’s the thing. If you're doing anything outside, check the wind that morning. My favorite app is Dark Sky. Wind can be fierce. I’ve seen table linens catch the wind and lift the entire place setting and florals into the air like a magic trick. Here are a few design items to consider if it’s looking breezy on your big day:

Be prepared to ditch your veil
First off, I’m a fan of bridal veils. I personally opted for the loooongest cathedral veil I could find for my own wedding. I love them. However,… as a wedding planner, I’ve spent a lot of time watching that wispy tulle distraction dance in the wind instead of being mindfully present for the ceremony. If it’s windy that day, ditch the veil.
When it comes to the chuppah, think ahead
The chuppah (in Jewish ceremonies) can also become a problem if you use fabric as the ceiling to the structure. Often times the fabric is an important religious tallit handed down from prior generations. I’ve used fishing string, clothes pins, and clamps. Even if it stays in place, there can be some flapping and noise distractions when wind is involved. I mean, that’s life and it’s fine. Just trying to manage your expectations if you’re planning an outdoor wedding.
Large signs and dividers turn to “sails” quickly
I’ve ditched a lot of welcome signs in my day. They just don’t stay on the easel if it’s windy outside! If creating a welcome sign or escort display, consider a heavy mirror or wood. Any plywood or foam board is going to fly!
Double check tall candles and floral
Any tall candles or tall thin floral arrangements can easily topple over in outdoor wind. The worst is when the wind catches the table linen and starts popping up and down. I’m talking LOTS of glass breaking. Ideally your wedding planner will have linen clips in an emergency kit. Again, the silent assassin!

On a windy hill top, the veil can take on a life of it’s own! Photo by Jen Dillender

Mistake 2: Limit the DIY— Just Say No to Hobby Lobby

Friend, I've been there. I'm still guilty of overdoing at my kids' birthday parties. Pinterest is a little evil if you're a "doer" like me. I tell my clients they can fill my full size SUV with anything and I will style it to their liking and return it to them. That's it. DO NOT rent a Uhaul van for your wedding, even if you have a wedding planner. It's not worth the anxiety, I promise.

I had the great idea of hand writing welcome notes to all of my guests as their escort cards. I was still writing those letters at 1am the night before my wedding! No. Get your beauty sleep, friend! Pick three projects that mean a lot to you and stick to those. Leave the rest to the professionals.

My favorite wedding DIY are welcome bags. As an early wedding planner I considered them a waste of money but I’ve been to a lot of weddings in the past ten years (I married a Catholic boy with 16 cousins) and I’m a convert. There was one Dallas wedding in particular where my toddler got car sick and cried half the way up I-35. We finally make it to the hotel room and she immediately threw up ALL over me. I’m tempted to describe the details because it was really that bad, but I’ll keep it moving.

After we cleaned up and debated whether or not to skip out on the rehearsal dinner I opened the customized welcome bag to find some sweet and savory snacks + a mini bottle of wine. That’s all it took to rally the troops and turn the mood around. I was so grateful. It was a hell of a travel day and that “welcome to Dallas” bag was a really nice way to say “thank you for coming”.

An assortment of the bride and groom’s favorite snacks delivered to guests at Omni Barton Creek Resort | Photo by Rebecca Langford

Mistake 3: Meet Your Photographer Before Booking— Yes, a Zoom counts

On your wedding day, no one is in your space more than your photographer (okay maybe your brand new husband/wife) but really, it's important you click with this person behind the camera. Weddings are not a one hour professional photo shoot. They are deeply personal and if your photographer’s personality is like nails on a chalkboard then you're not going to look your best (and most comfortable) self.

Can you make out in front of this person? Can you snuggle and be in love and look natural? Are they presenting themselves in a professional way that represents your style? Trust me, I’ve come very close to sending photographers home based on what they wear to a wedding. Not naming names, but most experienced wedding planners know who these people are in their professional community.

There are a lot of great artists, but not all of them come with a personality and look that jives with yours. Don’t book a photographer based on Instagram likes. Meet them.

Personality and professional attire are key attributes that you should look for in your wedding photographer. Cory Ryan Photography is a modern but timeless wedding photography studio located in Austin, Texas specializing in stylish weddings and lux… — Personality and professional attire are key attributes that you should look for in your wedding photographer. Cory Ryan Photography is a modern but timeless wedding photography studio located in Austin, Texas specializing in stylish weddings and luxury events. | Photo by Cory Ryan Photography

Mistake 4: Passing Hors d’oeuvres is Better Than Stationed Apps— Get Your Money’s Worth

This one could get controversial, but hear me out. When you're at a cocktail party, what are you doing?

I'm standing and holding a purse under my arm with a drink in hand and talking with friends and family who I haven't seen in a while. I'm also regretting my uncomfortable shoes... but I digress.

Before I know it, cocktail hour is over and I missed the food. Oh there is a food station? Where?!? I didn't even see it because everyone is standing and the table is only 30" off the ground! How could I have possibly known there was a charcuterie display 40 feet away when I’m surrounded by standing adults?

Who does this benefit? Well, your caterer who charged $8 x 150 people and only 75 people actually ate from the food station.

Above photos by Rick Cortez at One Eleven East

Mistake 5: Make Hair and Makeup Schedule— Avoid Chaos

The glam party is usually the first event of your big day. Let’s avoid mass chaos and confusion…

I’ve heard many clients say, “I’m not going to make my friends wake up at the crack of dawn for hair and makeup and then sit around half a day”. Okay, easier said than done. Here is why. Hair and makeup artists need to make that trip to your hotel worth their time (on a Saturday nonetheless). Most of them require a minimum of 5 services to book onsite services as opposed to coming in their salon. So if you want stylists to come to you, that’s approximately 45minutes x 5 services = 4 hours. Now then, if you have 10 bridesmaids + a mom + a grandma + you… that’s 26 services and now you’re talking about all those women PLUS 5 artists!?! I hope you reserved the Presidential suite because you now have a space problem, hence the need for an early start time.

Managing all these people in a small space requires a schedule. Talk to your hair and makeup artists about how much time to allocate per service and make a good ole fashioned chart. Share that with your ladies so they can plan ahead. Variables to consider:

Consider the schedule of any new moms. They’re probably working on a breastfeeding and napping schedule.
Who is an early riser vs. sleeps in most mornings.
Are there any personality conflicts? Don’t force them in a chair next to one another for 45 minutes.
What energy do you want around you? Think ahead about who is in the room when your hair and makeup is getting done.